Michael's Big Book of Bad Things Part 3
- Thumbnail= - In Video= }}|row3 = Kids' Poems and Stories With Michael Rosen|row2 = 5:00|row1 = Aug 12, 2011}}'Michael's Big Book of Bad Things Part 3 '''is the third part of the series from the same name. It's from the book of the same name. Transcript Michael's big book of bad things part 3. It's bedtime. Now, I had a problem with bedtime. I couldn't hear, the word "bed." So when my mum said "Michael, it's time for bed." All I could hear was "Michael, it's time for..." or if she said "Michael, it's bedtime." All I could hear was "Michael, it's time." So there we are, sitting on the sofa and we're watching telly. *''Michael briefly shakes his face while smiling* Why do people look like that when they watch telly? I don't know but there we are, we're sitting there, and mum says, "Michael, it's time for bed." And I go, *''Michael briefly shakes his face while smiling*''. "Michael, it's bedtime." *''Michael briefly shakes his face while smiling again*'' "Michael, I'm talking to you, it's time for bed!" Like "Alright, no need to shout, blimey!" And I get up, and I go round, behind the sofa, and then I'm behind the sofa I think, if I'm really quiet, she won't know I'm here. So I stopped breathing *''Michael stops breathing''*. She says, "Michael, I know you're there." And I go, "I'm not." She says "What are you talking about? He's standing in the middle of the room saying you're not there, you must be there to be saying you're not there, you tell you for stupid, now go to bed!" And I think, I could now go out of the room, and then I could pretend to be going upstairs, by making that stamp stamp stamp ''thing on the floor, so I go out of the room and I go, *''makes footstep sounds* I think this is really brilliant, she thinks that I'm going upstairs... for what I don't realize. If she's coming up behind me, and she's standing over me going, "What are you doing now?" And I go "Alright, mum yeah mmm yeah I'm just going up the step- well I'm not actually." And she says, "Go upstairs, wash your face, clean your teeth, I can't stand looking at you another minute." So it's upstairs, into the bathroom, shut the door, and yeaaah. It was time to muck about, plug in, *''prt''* taps on, *''shhh''* flick water at the mirror, *''prt''* yes! *prt* yes! *prt prt* yes! ''*''prt prt prt prt* ''And there's drops of water on the mirror and the drop starts turning into drips and one drips going faster than another drip, and I think it's a bit like the horse-racing on the telly. So I start doing a running a commentary and ''here comes Longbottom with the Longbottom and here comes Shortybump and Shortybump closing on the Longbottom, and HERE COMES LONGBOTTOM AND THE LONGBOTTOM HE'S GONNA TAKE IT! ''And I hear my mum from downstairs going "Michael? What's the silly noise going on up there?!" I said "Oh yeah uhh... sorry mum I was just looking for the flannel and ''here comes Longbottom with the Longbottom and here comes Shortybump! ''Now then, when a man, shaved, when I was a kid, this is how they did it: Plug in, *''prt* taps on, *''shhh''* a little brush, in the water, *''makes a brushing noise''* into a special jar, of shaving soap *''makes a brushing noise again''*. Now, I, loved this shaving soap, if you held it up to the light, it was all twinkly, and if you smelt it, it was all, perfumey and then if you prodded in *''squash''* heh yeah it was all squidgy yeah *''squash''* HEY?! I'm drilling, for oil yeahh *''makes a drilling sound''*. Hey, you can't see the hole from the outside... maybe I could bury something in there, what could I bury in there... I know! The top of the toothpaste! Good thinking! *''chikachikachik''* *''more noise making''* Smooth it over *''shhhhhh''* That's amazing. That's like... buried treasure. Maybe, pirates would come looking for it and sing their pirate song, "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, yo-ho-ho and a bottle-" and I hear my mum, from downstairs going, "Michael?! What's the silly singing going on now?!" I went, "Oh yeah, I was just, em, glad I found the flannel." Right, quick, wash the face, *''chikachikachika''* clean the teeth *''chikachikachika''*... hmm... it's a little bit wobbly... my little voice said "Don't do it Michael" and then I said, "I wonder if it would bend, yeah. ''Bendy ''and the little voice said, "Don't do it Michael." I said no, but I want to, ''Bendy, Bendy ''"Don't do it Michael!" No no I don't want to, ''Bendy Ben-'' "Michael don't do it!" ''Bendy, ben- ''no I bet not actually, *''chikachikachikachikachikachika* ''and then, off to bed! Use in YTP's * Michael staring at the shaving soap is used sometimes. Trivia Video Category:Poems Category:2011 Category:Michael's Big Book of Bad Things